Effective Self-Care

The first couple weeks of the New Year are upon us, and with that comes a heightened focus on self-care and the inundation of advertisements for related products and services. While I will be the first to tell you that it is imperative to make time during your day to care for yourself, the idea of “self-care” has morphed into a cringey gimmick, often used to sell us products that we don’t need. Yes, you may find changing your morning routine is beneficial to your day, but you don’t need $75 worth of gadgets from Amazon and a subscription to an organic, caffeine-free coffee alternative to do it.

I firmly believe that we must work to fortify our mental and physical well-being before trying to help others. The desire to care for our loved ones is woven into the fabric of human nature – which means constant and continuous self-love is essential to our welfare. Despite what life throws at you at any given moment, you need the tools that will allow you to care for yourself and, in turn, for others. Building and strengthening these tools are acts of self-care and can be achieved without money or access to the internet.

As we know it today, self-care operates from a standard of “not enough.” “You are not enough, so make yourself better with self-care.” How can we properly nurture ourselves if we feel inadequate? Self-care needs to be constant and reliable – regardless of any outside factors. We can’t control how external factors will change, but we can control what’s within.

We give our best from a full cup, but to fill that cup, we must begin by appreciating what we already have. When you accept yourself and the life you lead, you can then start to fill your cup. Only then can you believe you are worthy of the love you are offering yourself. Self-care isn’t about changing anything; it means loving yourself profoundly and appreciating all you have.

It’s unlikely that you will have the consistent time, energy, and motivation to practice self-care for hours a day – so it’s important to notice and take pride in the small acts. Self-care can be as simple as saying “no” to a party invitation if you feel over-extended. It can mean drinking a glass of water before every meal to ensure you stay hydrated. It may look like devoting time to brushing your teeth daily. Self-care is personal and is usually most impactful when taken in baby steps. Feel empowered by what you can do.

Beginning the new year with a laundry list of “self-care” habits you want to adopt can feel daunting. The pressure to succeed on this journey you spent the whole month of December planning for, added to the stress of trying to incorporate ten new activities into your routine, can negatively impact your well-being. It becomes a chore, something you have to guilt yourself into doing, and has the opposite outcome of what you set out to accomplish in the first place – preserving your happiness.

There is no golden standard of self-care, and no one can tell you what it does or does not look like. No measurement or scale can tell you if you are doing “enough.” We are born with an intuition that, if listened to, tells us what we truly need to ensure our contentment.

Building a solid foundation to support ourselves through the good times and the bad is key to navigating this world with strength and sovereignty. That foundation comes from an appreciation of life and is fortified by regular acts of kindness to ourselves. This is actual self-care, not what you can buy in an Instagram ad.